If you do not accept this, then you can stop reading now to protect your fragile worldview.

How they cope with daily discrimination is going to be neither universal nor designed to satisfy white concepts of fairness. Nor should it. They have their own shit to deal with rather than worry about offending sheltered whites who would rather think racial discrimination ended in 1964.

Being white is not part of most white people's identity, because they are not reminded constantly that they are white. It would be like treating being a primate as part of your identity and constantly worrying about what the arthropods were up to. We don't worry about the arthropods, and white people do not generally need to worry about the attitudes of non-white people (except when they make them feel guilty about being white, at which point many white people do get very angry and defensive and seek similarly offended white people in support groups on Facebook and Reddit).

If you cannot handle the fact that black people may choose to bond together so they can look around a room and see mostly other people who share a key aspect of their identity (since you cannot be blissfully ignorant or blase about race when you are black), at least just try to think about some aspect of your life where you are the outlier and most people you encounter treat you differently (and often negatively) because of that fact. Being black becomes part of your identity in a way that does not happen for most white people (except for those few whites who are so victimized by minorities that they join a white power movement).

We can just subsume our general cultural identity into 'American' or 'Virginian' or 'Southerner'. When you are black your primary cultural identity is almost always 'Black' because the world gives you little other choice.