weeks back. We had to put BOTH of them in memory care a few months ago. My dad is pretty far gone now. Doesn't believe I'm his son. I figured out his memory is as things were 40-50 years ago. We took him for an outing and he would ask "who's driving?" When we'd tell him it's my younger sister... he'd laugh and say "she's not old enough to drive" (she's 50). When I would tell him I'm his son, he'd say "do I look old enough to be your dad" (I've seen better days, but, yes, actually you do look old enough to be my dad). When it really hit me that he was stuck 40+ years ago was when I was helping him get ready for bed and when I took him to brush his teeth, he looked in the mirror and with a genuine look of horror said "oh my god, I'm so old. I look horrible" as if being old was a complete surprise to him.

My mom is more up and down. She has her lucid moments when she's (mostly) like her old self, but has really bad sundowners and times where she's just a totally different person.

I feel lucky to have had both my parents in my life for this long, but this is a really rough way to say goodbye. My MiL passed away earlier this year, and while she had had some physical health issues, her mind was always fully in tact. Her death was sudden (can't really say totally unexpected because of the health issues), so it hit my wife really hard, but I think that's a better way to go. Thank god for my sisters in Va Beach. I don't know how I'd manage without them to do the lion's share of the work with my parents.