We can’t yet divinity say dogs can talk, but if we look at the evidence it’s probably true. Dogs have a mouth they can use to talk. Their tongues are very dexterous, ideally suited for talking. More importantly, dogs clearly have gained almost full control over humans, who prepare all their meals and pick up their poop in tiny bags.

Most damming is dogs refusal to respond to or deny this evidence. Dogs have been extremely tight lipped in the face of mounting evidence that they can talk. Dogs won’t discuss the allegations and won’t cooperate in any investigation into their likely talking.

No, the dogs want you to believe they can’t talk, they want the public to view them as lovable, furry, nonverbal creatures, while they continue to manipulate humans. Of course no one has conclusively shown dogs don’t talk, and all the evidence suggests they can.